Ahoy,

This is not a G-File. 

I am currently sitting in the San Juan Airport waiting for a (delayed) plane to take me to Tortola, where I will then get on a boat on which I will drink and eat too much. How is that different from how I spend my time normally? Like I said, I’ll be on a boat!

Whenever I skip a G-File (which happens very, very, rarely—usually if I’m sick, or have an emergency, or if my arch nemesis busts out of prison and kills my partner the day after he retired from the force, forcing me to scream “Mendoza!” to the skies as I vow vengeance), some people complain that they weren’t notified.