By All Means, Investigate Everybody

Just be prepared for any outcome.

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Former President Donald Trump. (Phelan M. Ebenhack/Washington Post/Getty Images.)

Hurray for investigations! 

If they are, you know, investigations. 

Congressional Republicans have promised to look into the shady business dealings of Hunter Biden, the drug-addled-but-just-remarkably-successful-in-business son of President Joe Biden. At the same time, the Justice Department—the boss of which reports to President Biden—has announced the appointment of a special counsel to oversee investigations into Donald Trump’s attempts to illegally interfere with the transfer of power after the 2020 presidential election as well as the mishandling of classified documents at Mar-a-Lago. 

If it turns out that everybody on both sides of the aisle is guilty of everything they are accused of and then some, I will be the least surprised American since Tiffany Trump opened up her wedding present from her father and found a $20 Trump Grill gift certificate inside. But there is some work to be done, first. 

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Comments (207)
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  1. Avatar photo
    Ben Connelly

    I’m thankful you’re at the Dispatch! Now if only Charlie came over and maybe Jack I wouldn’t want to subscribe to NR…

    “ It is a very impressive feat that a vicious dictatorship can pull off—once. But if you have the right kind of eyes, it is easy to mistake that for the discovery of some new principle of social organization.”

    Okay. I take your point. But also, a lot of that impressive feat was wishcasting and propaganda. I’m probably about to paint a target on my back for citing her, but in We the Living, Ayn Rand showed what the USSR was really like in the 20s: famines and brutal shortages and desperate poverty when those peasants moved to the cities. Yes, it was fiction, but she based it on what she actually experienced growing up under Lenin’s Five Year Plans.

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    Michael Falciani

    “ Delaware, where everything is smaller and less significant” haha, very funny.

    Wait…I’m from New Jersey!!!

    Nooooooooooooooo!

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  3. Brook

    Great stuff.

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  4. Cparlato

    “As they discovered in Eden, it is easy to get seduced by the low-hanging fruit.“ Amusing turn of phrase, one of the things I enjoy about your work. Re: In closing, it’s difficult to argue that an American, in 2022, is anything other than one of the luckiest people to ever walk the earth. A truth I try to remember among whatever complaints and frustrations I have.

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    David M

    Thanks Kevin.

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  6. Mirabelle Schnocklevan

    Where's Kevin? Here you are. To investigate used to mean to learn things. Joe isn't creepy. Your description of economic progression is unsettling, because where are we going from here? I read a thing about Twitter about how the internal working, and by that I mean actual how-does-it-work stuff and not personalities thinking things, was going to crash, as in no longer function. I liked Twitter because I didn't have anything bad ever in my Twitter feed. I see that there are attempts to create new and better online social spaces, and I hope they can pull it off, but I wonder. Twitter had a function of real-time commentary all in one easily accessible space and with the commonality of everyone participating, because even if you weren't on Twitter, media told you what was going on on Twitter. We are going to splinter again it appears. I hope we don't lose something that was useful.

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    Baldwindan

    I would like to point out that the infamous photo of Joe Biden being creepy with a blonde young girl, that gets circulated around the internet as "proof", was taken at the funeral of said girl's father. Who was also Joe Biden's son. He was standing there at his own son's funeral. But that always gets left out of the context.

    That photo is of a grieving grandfather trying to signal to his grieving granddaughter that it's okay to be human and sad. That empathy, connection, affection, and touch are okay to show and receive at a funeral.

    But oh yes... god forbid any misanthropes acknowledge this. No, it's far easier to write the man off as a lecherous pseudo-pedophile "cretin" than acknowledge the realities of grief, loss, and the human need for connection.

    Widows get this kind of judgmental misanthropic reaction all the damn time. And I've seen it done to parents who lose their children, and then dare to make their emotions public.

    God forbid people show emotion, or be human, because that just isn't right. No, we should all be stoic reserved misanthropes ready to embrace the worst of everyone as Truth. And that grief thing? That need for human connection and touch? Punt it to the bedroom, freaks.

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      Michael Dan Martin

      You think you have absolved Biden because you have the explanation for one piece of evidence? The case for Biden’s creepiness does not rely on just one photo. Furthermore, he is a cretin not because he may be a creep but because he is dishonest and mean.

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      Lchrisberg

      Please spare me the deification of Joe Biden. His son, Hunter, is a prime example of a worthless human being and regardless the amount of depravity he indulges, JoeB is there to defend and support him. You may be right about the photo, but that doesn't absolve his moral and ethical bankruptcy when it comes to Hunter.

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    SandyG

    I'm disappointed you didn't explain the difference between an investigation and theatre. I would like to send that to my conservative friend so I can make the case the Rs Biden investigation is theatre.

    Also, I don't like your use of slurs in making your argument - Biden is a creep, Biden is a cretin, and being a lawyer is a sin. Such biased language has no place in a newsletter who's mission is to provide fact-based reporting. That's why I'm a long-time subscriber to The Dispatch. Your use of slurs diminished the value of my subscription.

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      Thomas Grimmer

      The article is not a fact-based report, it's an opinion piece. By definition it is biased.

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      1. Avatar photo
        SandyG

        Hmm. Dispatch publishes newsletters, of which this is one. I expect them to be fact-based.

        But, even if it were an editorial, the use of slurs is really rank. IMO. I don't see it in any other Dispatch newsletter.

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    2. Yarer

      Find a new silo.

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    Will I Am

    Great column, sir! And “amen” to your In Closing. Glad you have joined The Dispatch.

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    Hvfilbert

    In support of your statement “The actions you take influence the system in which you are operating,“ there is the “Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle” from quantum physics and the “Hawthorne Effect” from behavioral psychology. Both of these note that the act of observation changes that which is observed.

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