Mom

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Join Jonah on today’s solo episode as he remembers his mother, Lucianne Goldberg, who died peacefully this week surrounded by her people — and pets! — who loved her.

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  1. Bloodredinabluestate

    I just got the chance to listen to this wonderful episode. Both of your parents sound like amazing people. Someone once described my father as being pleasantly nutty and I think that fits your parents to a T. The story about having a country house in bucolic Weehawken is priceless. I have to tell that one to my son who lives there.
    As I get older, I tell my children that my main goal in life now is to be missed when I'm gone. Your loving tribute shows that your parents certainly achieved that goal with their son.

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  2. Timothyboley

    Jonah,
    Although I subscribed to The Dispatch a while ago, this was my first exposure to The Remnant. Hearing you talk about your Mom was time well spent. The experiences that you described were clearly from the heart. I appreciate hearing your story. I know that it couldn’t have been easy to share your feelings and to stay composed in the process. Thank you. I would also like to thank you for the many articles and books that you have written over the years. You offer hope and humor in this crazy world. God bless you and your family, including the four-legged members.
    Tim Boley

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  3. Mbell

    Condolences for your loss. The podcast was moving and gut-wrenching --- hoping it was helpful in your process of recovery from your loss.
    I've read your work since your earliest days, I believe....pretty sure it was back to when you first started at National Review when I started reading it ages ago.
    With that said, I honestly had no idea that your mom was the person in the middle of the Linda Tripp/Monica Lewinsky events....though I knew her name. Just never connected you with her. So, your efforts to not take advantage of your knowledge and to just to protect your mom were quite effective.
    I lost both of my parents over the past several years. Very difficult, obviously. Recommend as much dog time (and copious dog treats to the quadripeds) as possible.

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    Marybrown.1960

    Dear dear Jonah. I am so sorry for your loss. I remember meeting your mom 25 years ago – she was a tour de force. On a sidenote I am a hospice volunteer, and I appreciate your kind words to those of us who have the calling to work with people at the end of their lives. May you feel the peace that surpasses all understanding at this emotional time.

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    Man-Eating Cow

    Jonah, I listened to the whole podcast. Thanks for sharing.

    We all grieve in different ways. You've described yourself as a demi-Jew; do you sit shiva?

    My father passed away in 1984, a year I'd love to toss down the memory hole. He had been ill for five years with renal failure and had lost his eyesight. Being now in my own dark valley of ill health, I still wonder how he stood it. I at least have a real hope of recovery in a few months, and while glaucoma has taken much of the vision in one eye, my other eye is still good and with treatment should remain so.

    Someone asked him once how he could stand it. His reply was "Well, it's not the sort of thing one would choose, but it _has_ afforded the opportunity for a great many interesting experiences."

    When he passed, I felt some sense of relief that his ordeal was over. I still miss him. I wish he could have seen his grandchildren, and I wish I could have had his advice on how to raise them better.

    My faith gives me hope of a happy reunion with him someday. I am a better man for wanting to be able to look him in the eye when that time comes.

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  6. Perkins.Melissa

    Dear Jonah,

    Thank you so much for sharing about the loss of your mom. I will continue to pray for you and yours as you walk this so familiar path yet again. Your stories and recollections made me laugh and cry while inspiring me in my journey as a mom. I have always wanted to be a mom that was cut from a similar cloth to your mom and if I am lucky my kids will become strong, curious, and independent thinkers like you. Your words as her child also encouraged that part of me that is starting to walk a similar journey with my own parents. Thank you for giving voice to the challenging phase so many of us find ourselves. Finally, congrats to you and TFJ for raising such an awesome daughter.

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  7. Sean Smith

    Hi Jonah:

    My eyes were moist the whole commute home yesterday listening to your reminiscences about your mom. You and I are similar in age, so we're both going through a period where we start to lose key people in our lives. At least in my experience, it never gets easier. Anyway, I get it, and I'm sorry for your ordeal. Your mom was amazing, and the mark she left on the world will undoubtedly remain. Well certainly the mark she left in the form of you, but her own innumerable accomplishments and contributions as well. My love extends to all people who write their own script, think and act independently of the herd, and just generally live lives less ordinary. Your mother was definitely all of those things!

    You're well-loved by your family and fan base. Take comfort!

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    Chris Brooks

    Thank you for sharing such a personal experience at such an emotional time.

    I lost my mom 18 months ago and so many of the emotions you describe were very familiar.

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    Mary

    Thank you for sharing so many wonderful stories about your mom. It was beautiful.

    When I got to know my mother-in-law Marjorie, I described her to my sisters as a “real mom” and they understand exactly what I meant. Your mom was a “real mom”.

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    Stephen Maturin

    Regarding grief: My mom died just after I had finished my junior year in high school. That was 1986. It's been a while. My cue for how to react to her dying was my dad. However, my dad has a strong Eastern-European streak in him and his way of dealing with the death of his wife was just like everything else in his life. That is to say, not much of a reaction at all. He is the pinnacle of stoicism. I followed Dad's lead and handled the whole thing stoically as well. Over the years I have learned that this was a mistake. I don't know if I was wise or mature enough to have handled my mom's death in a healthy way. but I know now that the way I did handle it was unhealthy. I should have grieved more at the time. Then perhaps I wouldn't have had large and small upwellings of grief later.

    With that in mind, the thing that got to me the most about this podcast was when you talked about your daughter. I have a daughter too and she is the apple of my eye. God poured a lot of my genetic material into her. We have a connection that transcends the normal dad-daughter relationship.

    When my wife was pregnant with my daughter we decided that we weren't going to be told the gender until the birth happened. In preparation for either a boy or a girl we had a name ready for each. Keeping mind that my family has a very strong proclivity for making male children I was fully expecting to use the boy name. After 29 hours of labor and an emergency c-section the doctors lifted up our first-born and what do you know? It was a girl! Our pre-selected name for a girl was my mom's name, Karen.

    The first large upwelling of emotion after she was born was when I called my dad to tell him the news. He didn't know what our plans were with regard to names so when I told him it was a girl and her name was Karen I think even my stoic dad took a little pause to digest that information. I had a hard time keeping the blubbering in check. My stoicism doesn't match my dad's.

    The second (and much larger) upwelling of emotion was at Karen's baptism. I was insistent that she be baptized at my home church that I grew up attending. It also happens to be the church where my mom's funeral was held. I thought it was important to have this connection between mom and granddaughter. At this church a very good friend of my mom and dad's usually lead the congregation in music. She did so the day of the baptism. After communion (I don't remember exactly when it happened, to be honest) this friend sang a very touching solo that was about a mother speaking to her child. It was a bit of a surprise and I was not prepared for it. The emotion of this song, in this place, at this time, was quite overwhelming. Add in the fact that my extended family was there, as was my wife's extended family. You don't want to become a blubbering mess in front of that audience, but it was a big struggle I can tell you. It really hit me hard. Maybe that's normal that 23 years after a death you can still get that emotional. I don't know. Anyway, my advice is to not be so stoic. Let the emotions flow when appropriate. It is good to grieve.

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