Only a Man Can Be a Husband. Only a Man Can Be a Father.

On the great power of a transcendent masculine purpose.

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Every now and then you read something that stops you in your tracks. You see a statistic—often one that mirrors your experience—and it just staggers you in the tragedy it contains. And so it is with this piece by the Ethics and Public Policy Center’s Patrick Brown, which takes a close look at the terrible toll of opioids on the “unattached male.” What is an “unattached male”? A man who’s single or divorced.

Look at these numbers (and if you want to see the full scope, click on Patrick’s thread): 

As soon as I saw those numbers, I thought of another report by Douglas Belkin in the Wall Street Journal, discussing the immense and increasing education gap between American men and women:

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  1. Avatar photo
    Lee B.

    It's amusing to hear stoicism described as a toxic characteristic. It's always been the indispensable virtue for me, especially during the pandemic.

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    Ben Connelly

    “ In other words, you’re not asking boys to reject their nature, nor are you asking them to indulge their impulses.”

    Exactly.

    Out of curiosity, what do you suggest be actually done about porn? Maybe that would be a good topic to address in a future French Press.

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    Pboyd

    Our family has suffered tremendously due to the long illness and death of my husband. The grandchildren have lost a wonderful mentor and a man who loved them unconditionally. I try to "channel" him when things get hard, but it's not the same.

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  4. Thomas S Mazanec

    Terrific article David. As part of our church’s ministry I worked in the juvenile prison system in Ohio for 4 years until Covid shut the program down. The prison consisted of males age 14-20.
    When I first started going there it seemed like the kids could be students at any local school.
    Then I noticed the single most prevalent common denominator- no fathers. In some cases even the moms were incarcerated. These boys lived only for today and had no plans beyond that day.
    I spent time getting the kids I was mentoring to recognize what interested them and then also what they were good at. We built on this to develop a plan to finish school, perhaps learn a trade and find a way to make a living. When they got out our church worked on finding them a safe place to live and also meaningful work to engage in.
    Not every story ended in a success, but many did.
    Boys need fathers and if no fathers then solid adult males in their lives.
    This problem is the root cause of many other problems in our society today. Legislation won't fix it - love and commitment will

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  5. Tm S.

    I am noticing a negative association with and an oversimplification of the ideas of Stoicism in the comments section. I know that's only peripheral to the key discussion, but I have a point to make. The be-all and end-all of Stoicism is not the masking of one's feelings. I encourage all of you to read about the Stoics and Modern Stoicism. When Epictetus said, "There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power or our will,” he did NOT mean that people should not show their feelings. They should not be ruled by their passions. There is a difference.

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  6. Andy in TX

    Here's Psalm 23 set to music by the remarkable Buju Banton - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wRHYS2rRBo - thanks for posting all the great music.

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  7. Boatbody

    David, Denzel Washington has almost the same view as yours. He tells the interesting story that two of his friends who, with Denzel, grew up together but those two had no father and Denzel's father had the "velvet glove" of discipline that got Denzel off into a better life while the two friends without fathers in their lives ended up in prison. Those of us who grew up with fathers really don't realize how great it was.

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  8. Chris Williams

    Thanks for this word, David. Honest, touching, convicting.

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    GREG BROWN

    My 2 cents: There is one path for the righteous. If that's all you know, the vast dark universe of the alternative might surprise you

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  10. Paul.L.Christiansen

    David, you keep referencing that thing about "stoicism, competitiveness, and aggression."

    I *wish* stoicism, real classical stoicism, was a traditional masculine characteristic in this country. That would be pretty virtuous, as you know. But what the article is referring to, I think, is not stoicism but emotional stunting, the inability to understand one's own emotions. And that's a killer no matter what.

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