Manning Up

Richard Reeves of the hated Brookings Institution joins the Remnant for the first time to ...

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Richard Reeves of the hated Brookings Institution joins the Remnant for the first time to discuss his new book, Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It. In a moment where the family unit is collapsing, gender differences in education are becoming more pronounced, and large numbers of men are withdrawing entirely from the workforce, it’s vital to explore what’s driving these trends and whether they can be reversed. Why is fatherhood important? What defines true masculinity? And how have young men changed psychologically in recent years?

Show Notes:

– The Remnant (on rats!) with Dr. Michael Parsons

– Richard’s page at Brookings 

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  1. AHenry

    Great episode. But a blind spot for Richard Reeves is that schools have changed. No one necessarily tried to make them less friendly to boys but there was a big emphasis in the 70s and 80s to make them more friendly for girls. This came at the expense of boys. There are TED talks, "Commentary" article (a great one by Midge Decter), and the like on the topic if you care to look them up.

    So far as stem studies go, boys' interest in science and math is taken for granted while all girl interest is massively celebrated.

    Add to this that boys and men are told we are the root of all evil and it is no wonder that more and more young men are dropping out.

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  2. Laura

    Checkout "The Expectant Father" by Armin A. Brott. Watching my husband read it, it certainly seemed to cultivate this sense of pride, this sense of getting psyched to jump in and get the job done right, about being the stay-at-home Dad / primary care giver.

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    Portland Isaiah

    This was a great episode of the podcast. Great guest and great questions.

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  4. Kathy Wilk

    Another great episode and so important! Great guest and topic!

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  5. Payette

    This was an outstanding discussion!

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  6. Andy Warner

    This was a good episode, I am becoming more and more passionate about the lack of MEN and traditionally male virtues in our culture. While I believe that unmarried fathers need more of a script as far as how fatherhood looks when not in the context of marriage, I also felt like the view of marriage in this podcast was really sad, while at the same time revealing.

    To boil down marriage historically as an economic necessity and sub sequently using that lens to evaluate marriage as an efficient sharing of resources acknowledges the "tip" of the marital institution. It's sad because while this is not incorrect only acknowledging these outward aspects makes marriage irrelevant and you might as well sign a cohabitation document with the mother set to expire once the children reach a certain age.

    Unfortunately to adequately define marriage and its importance to people, one must at least acknowledge that there is a spiritual component to human beings. We have a deep-seeded desire to be in relationship, especially an unconditionally loving relationship. These relationships are hard, and require a life long commitment between two people, that when things get tough they wont cut bait and run. Furthermore (and i believe this was touched on in the podcast) the community needs to be supportive of this relationship for it to be successful. The fulfillment of an unconditionally loving relationship is the giant underwater iceberg mass that drives society forward and makes others aspire to replicate generation after generation. This was ignored in the discussion but this is so important when intentionally raising boys. I have 3 and at times they are little better than cavemen looking to clobber each other for food or sport. Boys (and men) need direction, something to throw their whole selves into. Without that we males flounder and become self harming. A contractual obligation to raise a child, while is important, is not that. Raising boys with traditional male ideals such as chivalry and traditional masculinity (for me) seems the most obvious choice. It plays to the strengths of boys and gives them something to strive towards. It also gives them a script to follow while they learn not to be cavemen. These traits, while currently being derided as "toxic" in American culture are the traits that will allow them to succeed in life, professionally and relationally. Boys need more traditional scripts because the contemporary ones have not been working out so well.

    On a side note, I happened to have the opportunity to grow up in a way the author suggest boys go through school. Starting a year later. As I reflect on my life and my children's current schooling experiences I feel very blessed that this is how I went through school. That little bit of extra time to mature probably set me on the path to who I am today.

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  7. C.Appel07

    I think what Reeves misses is that so many “marriageable” men right now not only don’t want to get married, but they don’t want to be fathers either. His anecdote about the three young men in the coffee shop struck me as blind to the current reality. Those men are likely all consumed with their travels and the ways they can spend money for their own pleasure to even think about marriage or beginning a family. Too many Millennial and Gen Z men who are economically “successful” are too busy extending childhood into their 30’s to establish families of their own.

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  8. Randolph Mitchell

    I recently ran across a term that was new, to me at any: a Lesbian rule. This was in Calvin's Institutes, of all places. In discussing God's moral law, Calvin writes: "But we ought so to temper this principle [that is, that the moral law is more than what is expressed in the bare words stating it] that it may not be for us like the Lesbian rule..." In carpentry, a Lesbian rule was a pliable leaden measure (originally from Lesbos) that could conform to the countours of a molding. Calvin was using it in a pejorative sense, where we distort principles to accommodate what we want to be true. I was reminded of this during your mini-rant at the end of this episode lamenting the course of the Right over the past 7 or so years.

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  9. Mary Stine

    While agreeing with nearly all of Reeves' concepts, I'm wondering why he left out the elephant in the room: war. How many good fathers and father figures did we lose to WWII, the Korean war, Vietnam,
    Desert Storm and the 20 year war in Afghanistan? Although women have an increasing presence in our military, it is still primarily male. The sad state of rural America and inner city America often reflects the fact that the most responsible young men in those places went off to war and either did not come back, or came back as a shell of their former selves. No matter how wonderful the society construct of "responsible adult male" is, decimating the ranks of those by war will affect the children.

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      Tjkilcup

      Desert storm and Afghanistan? I don’t think that many died. My suspicion is that in two years more have died of drug overdoses then died in both Afghanistan and desert storm. Here’s the data.

      38,000 due to suicide and the wars post 9/11
      https://watson.brown.edu/costsofwar/costs/human/military/killed

      219 died in desert storm
      https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8071721/

      93,000 died of an overdose in 2020
      https://www.npr.org/2021/07/14/1016029270/drug-overdoses-killed-a-record-number-of-americans-in-2020-jumping-by-nearly-30

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    Trevor Thorland

    Great conversation! Really made me think more about this issue. I love how you talk with all of your guests!

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