The Hypocritic Oath

President Joe Biden takes questions from reporters on classified documents. (Photo by Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images.)

Dear Reader (including any of you who woke up to a clouded leopard wandering your neighborhood this morning),

This is just a glorious moment to be a both-sideser. I’m laying back like a THC-gummy-chewing Matthew McConaughey in a beach hammock drinking a Corona at the spectacle (we can drink and chew at the same time).

Let me go down memory lane for a moment.

I remember being in the Fox greenroom in late 2019. I struck up a conversation with a very Trumpy military analyst. He was working himself up into a kind of giddy high—as if he were intoxicated by the ambient methane of flatulent partisanship (I’ve been informed that using the phrase “Fox News greenroom farts” makes me a liberal sellout or something). He excitedly explained that the allegations of what Joe Biden did as vice president vis-à-vis Ukraine show that Joe Biden was actually guilty of the same thing Trump was being accused of. You may recall that Biden was accused of pressuring the Ukrainians into firing a prosecutor who—it was alleged—was investigating Biden’s famously sketchy son, Hunter. 

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